November 18, 2008
Dear Christopher Butler,
[To all Christopher Butlers in the world, I speak only of the one who had my cell phone number before it was assigned to me. You know who you are. The number is a US number in the 808 area code.]
You had my cell phone number assigned to you before me and apparently you spent a lot of money and decided not to pay your bills. I take it you failed to pay your cell phone bill too, which probably explains how the number ended up back in the random assignment pool and how I got it.
At any rate, would you please start paying your damn bills? I am tired of the collections agencies calling me at all hours of the day and night trying to find your sorry ass. Seriously dude, how much shit do you have to buy on credit?
Maybe I should give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it's something like identity theft. But I can't really believe that, because it looks like the first things you defaulted on were utility bills and loans and now you're using credit cards and not paying them.
You know what, if you want to keep doing that, fine. Maybe you'll get a bailout bill passed in your name. Could you just do one favor for me? STOP GIVING THEM MY PHONE NUMBER WHEN YOU APPLY FOR A NEW CARD! You might still have the phone you got from AT&T, but you sure don't have the number. Ever notice it doesn't ring? Yeah, I have the number now.
The current assignee of 808-2XX-7XXX